Sunday, August 4, 2013
7 Pieces of Offbeat Advice I Wish I Knew Sooner
There's this funny thing about people: We love giving advice. Especially the older folks. They just have to get in there and tell you what they think, what they think you should do, and follow up on whether or not you followed said advice.
Most of it goes in one ear and out the other, but every now and then you get those offbeat gems that just stick with you throughout the rest of your life. Since it's a meditative Sunday, I just want to share some of them:
It’s not the answers you get from others, or even the ones you formulate, that will help you in the long run. It’s the simple questions you ask yourself on a regular basis that will determine the type of person you become. Wisdom is about asking the right questions. We were put on this earth to learn, learn, learn, after all.
Regardless of your age or stature, life is always filled with unanswered questions. It is the courage to ask these questions and adventurously seek the answers that continues to give life meaning. Have patience with everything that remains unresolved in your heart. Try to love the unanswered questions themselves. Do not demand all the answers; they cannot be given to you because you have to live through them. It is a matter of experiencing everything. Only when you do will you gradually, perhaps without even noticing it, find yourself arriving at the answers you seek.
If you do what you have always done, you will get the same results you have been getting. If you want to stunt your growth and feel stuck in the same place forever, keep making excuses. If, on the other hand, you want to stop feeling trapped, you have to start doing things that make you uncomfortable, things you aren’t very good at. You have to streeeetch yourself.
There is no excuse for remaining stuck. There is no excuse for doing the same things over and over again. Life is too short. Ask yourself if what you’re doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.
The day is rapidly approaching when the risk to remain perched in your nest is far more detrimental than the risk it takes to fly. Fly! Spread your wings. Start now. What a disgrace it would be for you to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of your full potential.
No matter what you own there is a maintenance cost. We can speak in pesos – insurance, taxes and interest. Or even in time – cleaning, updating and protecting. But the hardest maintenance cost for most people is simply sentimental value.
We transfer our feelings and memories onto an object and decide we can’t let go because we’ll risk losing the feeling or memory. Before long, we become surrounded by these visual reminders of our memories and no longer have room to make new ones. It’s hard to move forward in your life when your past is crowding your present.
The answer, of course, is to get rid of some of this stuff. But that’s way easier said than done. We often need to be compelled to do this with a move or a lifestyle change. Imagine how much richer life would be if you moved the junk out and made room for new opportunities instead of grudgingly making room only when it was forced upon you.
Nothing is perfect; the world itself is not perfect. But we’re all here living for our dreams and each other, trying the very best we can. And that’s what makes us so darn beautiful. The little things about you that you think are your flaws are often the reasons others fall in love with you.
Accept your flaws. Admit your mistakes. Don’t hide and don’t lie. Deal with the truth, learn the lessons, endure the consequences of reality, and move on. Your truth won’t penalize you. The mistakes won’t hurt you. The denial and cover-up will. Flawed and vulnerable people are beautiful and likable. Liars and phonies are not. Every beautiful human being is made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions and finished with unique edges.
Work, if it is interesting, is a stimulant. It’s worry and a lack of interest in what you’re doing that drains and discourages you. Every one of us should have our hobbies and side interests – as many as we can handle efficiently and happily. Our interests should never be allowed to lag or get cold so that all enthusiasm and passion is wasted. Each day can be a success if you feed your interests as graciously as they feed you.
Happiness is found where interests and capabilities intersect. If you do what you love and then master it so you can do it much better than anyone else you know, it is entirely possible to make a living from it. Even better, you will not get tired out from working when your work interests you. The key is to find the point at which what you love, what you’re good at, and what people will pay for, intersect.
Provide support when it makes sense, even when people are cold and unfriendly. Some people are rude and complain as a way of crying for help. They may not be conscious of it though, so their comments come across as attacks rather than requests.
Show a little love and concern. Do something nice for them. Just a simple “Are you okay?” or “Is there anything I can do to help you?” can do wonders in certain situations. Resist the urge to judge or assume. It’s hard to offer compassion when you assume you have them figured out. Let them know they are not alone. People overcome the forces of negative emotions, like anger and hatred, when the counter-forces of love and support are in full effect.
Sometimes you need to be alone… not to be lonely, but to enjoy some free time just breathing and being You.
In order to be one with your relationships and life’s work, you have to turn away from the busyness of the world for a while. You need to find solitude to refuel. You must become so alone that you withdraw into your innermost self. You must do nothing at all, except to be still with the moment.
You need to ponder your successes and failures in seclusion; you need the sunshine and the moonlight to warm you without companions to distract you, without the ongoing banter, face to face with your inner core, with only the sound of your heartbeat for company.
Just mucking around Manila,
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Inspired from Marc and Angel